"Please take your iPod headphones out during the exam."
"Yes, you showed up to all the classes and turned in all the assignments. But that, in itself, won't earn you an A. This isn't high school."1
"No, it's not a freedom of speech issue. If you really want to, you can use your hottie69@hotmail.com account to email your proposal to the client you're working with in this class, but I'm going to take points off your grade for being unprofessional. Your email address is part of the professional identity you're building, and I think it would suggest the wrong profession."
"Don't lean over to the person next to you during a quiz and whisper something, then start laughing. Even it's a really, really funny 4/20 joke."
"It's probably not a good idea to email your professor the pornographic pictures you downloaded from the Internet. It's not professional."2
"I'm sorry that you might be deported, but that's not a valid reason for me to change your grade."
"That's fine, go ahead and answer the cellphone. The class can wait."3
"Hey. Wake up the guy next to you. Go ahead. Whack him really hard on the arm. If I have to be awake, so does he.... [whack] Good morning."
1This one got me in hot water, since I was a TA at the time and the local high school principal's offspring was in my class. Funny story, though.
2The student in question claimed he thought he was attaching the file with his homework. He looked mortified enough when I called him into my office to talk about it, I let him off with a warning.
3About three times a semester.
Posted by johndanseven at June 21, 2006 10:14 PM