Random quotes from the Captain's Announcements on United Flight 946, LAX to Washington Dulles yesterday:
Posted by johndanseven at April 28, 2006 01:44 AMAnd since my co-pilot Kevin will be handling the controls today, you'll be listening to the dulcet tones of my mellifluous voice... or the mellifluous tones of my duclet voice. How many of you know what "mellifluous" means? I thought so....
Since Kevin will be hitting every spot of turbulence in the Western hemisphere this afternoon, from time to time we'll turn on the "Fasten Your Seatbelts" sign and I'll say "Sit! Stay!" Actually, our marketing department didn't like that, so I'll say something else.
Kevin will be listening to the voices in his head. If you want to listen in, you can tune into channel 12 of the in-flight sound system on your headphones to see if you can figure out what they're telling him to do. I think Kevin is actually going to drop down out of the clouds to see if he can read road signs.
[later, when seatbelts sign goes on] Sit! Stay! I mean, we're encountering some turbulence, so please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts.
[after we land, and that "we're here" chime sounds] All rise....