"Republic Dogs": Plato's Republic (very loosely) staged as the final scene from Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs (with leakage from other Tarantino). (Originally published in the Subgenius Digest in 1995.) Here's the opening:
[Thrasymachus is tied up in a chair. Socrates is brandishing a gun in his face]
Thrasymachus: Don't kill me, man!
Socrates: Are you finished, fucker?
Thrasymachus: Look, look, man, you can have my ten yoke of oxen. My virgin daughters? My pomegranite orchard?
Socrates: You like pomegranites? Shit, motherfucker, I hear they've got a fuckin' all-you-can-eat special going on on pomegranites where you're headed.
Thrasymachus: Don't do it, Socrates. Be fair.
Socrates: [Suddenly contemplative] Fair?
Thrasymachus: [Sees an opportunity for survival] Yeah, fair... think about my wife and children --
Socrates: Would you say that to be fair is the same thing as to be just?
Thrasymachus: What?
Socrates: Well, I'm just a dull, wandering street philosopher, so I don't understand quite where you're headed with this particular line of reasoning. Perhaps [motions with gun] you could further elucidate your theory of justice.
Thrasymachus: My theory? Of justice?
Socrates: Yes. You do... have a theory of justice, don't you?
Thrasymachus: Uh...
Socrates: Or perhaps you'd like to hear my theory.
Thrasymachus: Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course, your theory. You have a theory?
[via Boing Boing]
Posted by johndanseven at October 29, 2005 04:45 PM