The History of the Gnomes

Gnome in lower right visiting ancestral home

First off, let us be respectful enough to pronounce the name for these well-mannered creatures correctly. In English, it is pronounced no-mes, like Nome, Alaska with an 's'. The g is silent. This is not biology class, so just forget about genomes. In German, it is Zwerg, or Zwergchen, say zv-air-g or zv-air-g-chin. In Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, and Latin it is Gnomo, generally prounounced as 'nom-o-ss'. French is Nains de Jardin, "".

Now for a brief history and background. Gnomes have a very long history, predating that of human civilization. They have taken part in nearly every significant human event, from the first spark of fire, to modern warfare. They are closely related to the extinct race of dwarves (human mining and oil operations have sadly eliminated this ancient race), but gnomes are noticeably smaller than their distant cousins. Gnomes, as they proudly maintain, are also less rotund than dwarves, though this is no doubt due to the working conditions and near starvation nutrition levels they are subjected to by their human captors. In nature they are noticeably rounder. Gnomes belong to one of two different races. Most gnomes have skin tones ranging from a dark mahogany to light beach, with any hair color, and a life span of around 50 years. The other race tends to live substantially older, averaging about 600 years, with some making it to 1000. They are more of a grey color, with grey or white hair.

Gnomes in general have lively and sly senses of humor, especially for practical jokes. They have a great love of living things and finely wrought items, particularly gems and jewelry. However, their love of things that grow led to their initial imprisonment by man kind. Gnomes are highly skilled in the garden, and humans thus turned them to slaves so that they might relax whilst the Gnomes toil away their lives. It is true that there has always been communities of free Gnomes, having escaped the clutches of man. However, as we spread our tentacles of "civilization" ever further into the wilderness areas of this planet, we destroy these communities, forcing the Gnomes into their current predicament, discussed under the Modern Era.

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Gnomes throughout the ages.