The Gnome Exchange Progam

Esperto, Jake, and Voltaire

The Gnome Exchange Program, or GEP, is a subsidy of the Gnome Protection Agency. The GPA was created to save gnomes everywhere from malicious scientific experimentation and remove them from hazardous environments in general. As the GPA succeeds in its fight, Gnomes are freed, but this is not enough! Former slaves are unskilled. In light of this, the GEP was created. Newly freed Gnomes will be brought to the classrooms affiliated with each of the GPA chapters and will learn new trades to allow them to succeed at new jobs and make a living for themselves. While in the classroom, the Gnomes will also have the opportunity to inform the youth of our nation of the plight of the Gnome People, and how to help.

Esperto was the first Gnome to be rescued by the GPA. His full name is Pessoa que é Esperto and is of Brazilian descent. One day when on the job, he was abducted by Gnome Enslavers and sent to America via an overcrowded packaging box with no air holes, no food, no place to sleep, and no sanitary facilities. Once here, he and the other Gnomes in his box were sorted and sent of to various Gnome concentration camps. Esperto ended up at the K-Mart Gnome Concentration Camp in Scotia, NY, USA. One day, after months of enslavement, a member of the GPA was walking through the store, and came across the camp. He immediately bought Esperto, for he was in the most decrepit state of the bunch, and set him free. Esperto decided he was not just going to settle on his own freedom, and joined the GPA to help his fellow Gnomes. Esperto is credited with setting the GEP into motion, and is our first Gnome to participate in the program. His goals are to end the plight of the Gnomes, and to free his family from bondage, so as to be reunited after ages of separation.

Voltaire is the second Gnome to participate in the GEP. He was born in Paris, educated at Louis-le-Grand, and is highly intelligent. He befriended many of the Gnome aristocrats in Paris, however was imprisoned in the Bastille for eleven months for writing a scathing satire of the Gnomish government and it’s policies towards humans and their treatment of Gnomes. He was later released, but exiled to England after insulting Chevalier De Gnomhan, a young corrupt nobleman. While in exile, he befriended a group of Gnome reformers. He was greatly impressed by the Gnome tolerance and democratic ways of the community he stayed in, and embraced the works of Locke, Newton, and others. His interest in the natural sciences and philosophy blossomed. Upon returning to Paris, he shared his new outlook on government and tolerance, and was once more exiled. He now travels America in exile, spreading his ideas of interspecies tolerance and democracy for the Gnomish people. Where as Pessoa que é Esperto is in the GEP to learn new trades, Voltaire is here to teach.

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Esperto studying and the GEP Xmas Party